I had begun to oxidize. Soon, in a matter of minutes, my limbs would begin to bubble up and I would begin to slowly disintegrate and my life would be over. It was a pleasant existence, one marked with happy walks along beaches, smiles late into the evening, and lessons in tap dancing downtown. But this fate... it is the worst of things. Cruelty from nature or second chances...

I had given up, it's true. My name and face were all through the news. I had settled for second best, and that, they seay, is the worst of fates. I happily accpeted said fate without reservations because of one single fact: I had SETTLED. I had replaced first with second and become agreeable with what many considered the enemy. I had become complacent, fat as it were. Now, as I lay here and reflect what has happened in the last few weeks of my existence, I realize that all the naysayers had indeed been correct.

This is the part where I would attempt to apologize to all of the people close to me that I had inadvertantly hurt by my decision to settle. I do regret. And I am dealing with said regreat rather nobly, but too little too late. WIth a knife or a gun, I would choose to end this misery, this contemptuous contemplation and be done with the whole life and death struggle. Instead, I am forced to endure this pain, this suffering. I was never taught that apathy could kill. I was told that it was an ill approach to things but never told that it could to lead to such a downfall as I am now faced with. I never would have suspected that I would be left alone in this pit to morph into something so rotten. BUT, nevertheless, here I am, oxidizing in a pit. A pit where the light barely sneaks through the tiny hole above. What a wretched final hour.

© J. Bernhard

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